Man asks 22-year-old coworker to switch vacation she booked months in advance because his fishing trip is 'once in a lifetime': 'I already booked flights'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 8, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Vacation is so important. It's not only the time off that helps us, but the anticipation of the time off. It helps break up the long stretches of work that we so often find ourselves in. The feeling of knowing that in a matter of days, weeks, months, you'll have some time to yourself-- it makes it all the easier to slog through the days. Plus, you probably planned your vacation for a reason. Maybe you're going to spend some time with family. Maybe you're going to explore a new place that you've never been to before. Maybe you're going to catch up on a project that work has been keeping you from. Whatever the reason is, what matters is that you have a plan and you're sticking to it… hopefully. 

That is, unless something gets in the way. There are a smattering of valid reasons to cancel or reschedule your vacation. The country you were going to travel to is suddenly under duress. You broke your foot, and you have to stay at home. Or there is a true work emergency that requires your help. 

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  • A male coworker approaches a female coworker with a point of discussion.
    via M. Cooper

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • AITA for not giving up my vacation so my coworker can go fishing?

    I (22F) work in a small office where vacation days have to be requested months in advance. Last July, I put in for a week off in September because I wanted to visit my family out of state. Everything got approved, and I already booked flights and made plans with my parents. But then last week, my coworker found out my dates and asked if I could switch with him. His reason? He and his buddies decided to do a last minute fishing trip that just happens to fall on the exact same week I'm off.
    via u/SpicySofiaaaa
  • I politely turned him down, because I already made plans and spent money. He got annoyed and said, C'mon, it's just family, you can see them anytime. This trip is a once in a lifetime thing with the guys. He even tried to guilt me that i was ruining his chance at core memories. I reminded him I booked first and that it's not fair for me to
    via u/SpicySofiaaaa
  • cancel flights and rearrange everything just so he can go fishing. He got p ed and stormed out. At the same time I don't mean to make him mad at me just because i turned him down, It's just that i already have planned and paid for the expenses for my trip. So, AITA for not giving up my vacation so my coworker can go fishing?
    via u/SpicySofiaaaa

  • Commenters agreed that she shouldn't give it up

    Longjumping-Air14... 10h ago . NTA, but tell him you will do it for $10,000. What, is that too expensive? For once-in-a- lifetime-core memories? Huh. Maybe he doesn't want to go fishing all that much after all.
    via u/Longjumping-Air1489
  • RandomModder05 10h ago NTA. What a self-absorbed AH that guys is. Fishing with his buddies is a "Core Memory"? You should go fishing with your family and text him about constantly just for that alone.
    via u/RandomModder05
  • TrainerHonest2695 9h ago NTA. I really hate that employers even allow this. You booked the date. They approved it. He did not. Request denied. Not, "hey, go whine and cry to your poor coworker and see if you can
    via u/TrainerHonest2695
  • pressure, guilt, or manipulate them into sacrificing their already planned and paid for dates." It's just chickenshit. Don't even tell the guy who has the conflicting dates booked and take the target off your back. Besides, your
    via u/TrainerHonest2695
  • boss has already planned to cover your work, probably pulled someone off a project, spent time training them, etc. Fishing guy's workload has no coverage or back up planned and would cause a last minute scramble.
    via u/TrainerHonest2695
  • A young woman looks frustrated at her desk.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Swimming-Koala-7... 10h ago NTA! His vacation is not more important than yours. His lack of planning is not your problem.
    via u/Swimming-Koala-7747
  • PeepsMyHeart • 9h ago Just ask this: "Does that typically work on people?" And then say "For all I know, this trip is the last time I might get to spend time with my family. It's been too long as is."
    via u/PeepsMyHeart
  • teargaswedding 10h ago • NTA, you took time off first and booked flights, it's ridiculous for you to switch.
    via u/teargaswedding
  • Loydx • 9h ago It's not about who's vacation is more valid. You put in first and you have paid reservations. End of conversation.
    via u/Loydx
  • 3xlduck 10h ago NTA. Ask him if he wants to reimburse you for all your cancelled travel expenses.... i'm guessing no....
    via u/3xlduck
  • Rotten_gemini • 9h ago Nta but you need to report this to your boss to get ahead of any retaliation he might do at work when you come back from vacation
    via u/Rotten_gemini
  • ScarletNotThatOne 10h ago Of course NTA. He tried to guilt and blame you, not because you were wrong, but because he wanted to get his way.
    via u/ScarletNotThatOne
  • Vita... 9h ago . • 9h ago • Edited 9h ago ΝΤΑ But if want to be: Next time you see him: "I can afford to reschedule my trip as soon as you re-emburse me for my non-refundable first class plane tickets. Do you know have venmo or zelle?"
    via u/VitaSpryte
  • Give him the cost of tickets plus first class upgrade. Reschedule your trip and buy your family dinner with the first class cash difference.
    via u/VitaSpryte
  • jfartster 10h ago • NTA. Not only have you arranged the time off, you've paid for the flights and notified your family you'll be visiting. Only a selfish AH would expect you to suddenly change your well-established plan to suit their whims. F right off with that.
    via u/jfartster
  • Sensei713 · 9h ago • F your coworker, respectfully
    via u/Sensei713
  • • Consistent-Sky-67... 10h ago NTA-tell him that he is not old enough to go on vacation without adult supervision if this is the kind of whiny baby he turns into every time he doesn't get exactly what he wants.
    via u/Consistent-Sky-6792
  • Adventurous-Yak-9... • 9h ago Anyone who respects you would not ask you that. He was extremely ride to try and pressure you into giving up the dates you requested and planned for and he was way out of line for reacting that way.
    via u/Adventurous-Yak-9893
  • Please know this and do not forget. Someone being mad at you does not make them right. Often times anger is a sign of manipulation, often used by abive partners/parents and scammers of all walks. If someone is suddenly angry at you and you did not hit them, or back stab them or rob them or harm them in some way that a reasonable person would take as harm, not their word, take it as a warning of manipulation.
    via u/Adventurous-Yak-9893
  • Individual_Ad_9213 10h ago . NTA. If you wait until the last minute, you risk being disappointed.
    via u/Individual_Ad_9213
  • 18k_gold 9h ago 5k to rearrange my plans. Pay up, it will be worth it to make those core memories.
    via u/18k_gold
  • New-Junket58929h ago NTA. No. You planned in advance and you've shelled out money. Why would you give in to his last minute plans. He can fish anytime.
    via u/New-Junket5892
  • Feeling_Cost_4621. 9h ago Jaysus. Men just think women should solve all their lack of planning problems by sacrificing themselves. Hold your ground. This guy would laugh in your face if you asked him to sacrifice your vacation for him.
    via u/Feeling_Cost_4621
  • Unfair-Store-9108 · 9h ago NTA he just tried his luck on you because you're young and he thought he could bu y you into giving up your time off. Don't EVER give up your time off for anyone, good on you for standing your ground!
    via u/Unfair-Store-9108
  • . Ben... • 9h ago • Edited 9h ago NTA He's a selfish who's angry because a young woman wouldn't let him take advantage of her. It's good that you learned this early on so you know to watch your back with this DB
    via u/Beneficial_Surround3
  • calm_storm69 · 9h ago NTA You planned first, paid for it, and it's your time off, not some last-minute fishing favour for a grown adult.
    via u/calm_storm69

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boss antiwork workplace-stories toxic-workplace job bosses work coworkers working time off reddit story toxic-boss PTO workplace reddit thread bad bosses Reddit toxic-work-environment
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